A SHATTERED HOPE :

Have you ever felt the pain of the athlete who has come second in a race who is late only by a fraction of seconds? Have you ever felt the pain of a student who has lost his one year due to less one mark? If God does everything for the wellbeing of the humankind, then why people get pain? If the pain is due to past deeds why we are not able to know, what was the action for which we are getting the consequence today. May be we are too naïve to understand all these things.

May be my pain is not that deep, but still at some corner of heart it hurts. Also it may not create interest within you, still the person going through it knows how it feels. I am talking about the times after all the interviews for MBA preparation got over. To my dismay I was only selected in IIT-KGP MHRM and in TAPMI. However I have always a soft corner for XIMB. But I got a straight reject from XIMB. Anyways lost the hope of XIMB and its time to move on. Now it’s all set to go to TAPMI. However after few days, surprise news flashed, that seats of XIMB got increased by 60. Now its 240 instead of 180. All the waitlist got cleared within few days. XIMB released a new additional list. Surprisingly I was placed in that list. A new ray of hope flashed before me. It was a long list, but a small ray of hope created for one of my dream college i.e. XIMB. My last day for withdrawal request from TAPMI was May30 which crossed eventually. Still I was waiting if I would be lucky to get into XIMB. On June 4 waitlist movement happened and now I am at WL7. Heart beat increased along with the hope. I was thinking what God was doing with me. I was at a hanging position not able to decide anything. Three days passed and on 6^th of June again I enquired and now my WL was 3. OMG... Are you trying to test my patience or what...? The waitlist is not clearing... I was also about to leave to Manipal in 3 days. I was in a big dilemma what I would do if I will be converting, whether to forget the huge sum of money already paid to TAPMI and join XIMB or leave XIMB since the money is at stake in TAPMI. A great dilemma between a huge sum of money and a good college. The day before my journey to Manipal I checked with XIMB and still the WL was 3. With a heavy heart and painful mind started my journey towards Manipal. I did not have that excitement of going to a new place for a new goal. With every passing day, I was trying to check the waitlist movement. But it was like a full stop all of a sudden without any movement. On June last week it moved to WL2. Still I was having the little hope flickering inside my heart. I was checking at TAPMI side whether I can get the refund of my money. Anyways that was not a matter to me at that time. Again on July 1^st week WL moved to 1. Now again heart started beating faster. I started calculating in mind that If I will convert how I can reach in 2 days... how I will manage the missed classes and all. But there is a full stop to all my hope and dreams. Admission session closed by XIMB. All my hopes and imaginations shattered after such a long wait. I got my draft back on 9^th July. Finally with WL1 XIMB said good bye to me. Throughout the life time this will revolve around my mind.

May be XIMB was not my cup of tea. That is fair enough. May be I am not competent enough to be at XIMB. But why I got such a hope after first reject and that hope continued for more than one and half month and finally leaving me on the mid way just one step behind the final destination. As rightly said by one of my friend, “You have already started sailing. You have to reach at other side. You cannot get down on the mid way.” Let’s see what is stored at the other side for me. Now trying to settle myself and my mind in TAPMI and Waiting for the day when I can say that “God… You are always right.”